Daughters Reshaping the World (Part 1); The Evolving Bond

Parenting is often seen as a one-way street, where wisdom flows from parents to children. But daughters often challenge this flow, subtly remolding the very people who raise them. To understand this transformation, we surveyed parents (mostly mothers) to learn how their daughters have influenced their views on themselves as well as gender and social norms.

Why focus on daughters? Because they represent a generation of women that often questions norms, pushes boundaries, and redefines the beliefs of those who raised them. Our aim wasn't to discuss parenting per se, but to explore how these young women are shaping the perspectives of their parents. As daughters ourselves, we understand the friction—and the insight—that can come from demanding change within the family.

Families, as they exist today, are mostly non-democratic spaces. Gender biases tend to be more visible to daughters, who are more likely to confront these imbalances at home. While sons may also influence their parents, the way they encounter gender bias within the family often differs, making that a separate conversation. Studies show that having a daughter can push fathers toward more progressive views on gender and prompt mothers to reconsider the biases they once accepted. Understanding this shift is crucial—not just in terms of how daughters are shaped by their upbringing, but how they, in turn, shape the perspectives of those around them.

To explore this dynamic, we posed three key questions: How has your relationship with your daughter evolved over time? What belief about gender roles changed while raising your daughter? And what is something your daughter has taught you that you hadn’t considered before?

The response to our survey was stronger than expected, demonstrating just how much parents have to say about their daughters. Participants, aged 28 to 77, offered a wide range of generational perspectives, revealing how daughters influence their parents’ worldviews. Their answers show the powerful role daughters play in questioning long-standing norms, initiating difficult conversations, and encouraging their parents to see the world with fresh eyes.

How Has Your Relationship with Your Daughter Evolved Over Time?  

For parents, relationships with their daughters began with warmth and care. But as the years passed, those bonds deepened, shifted, and in some cases, reversed roles. The journey from caregiving to companionship was a recurring theme, revealing how daughters often become emotional anchors and even caretakers.

Sujaya shared, "Over time, as my daughters grew into young adults, our relationship changed slightly—from friend to confidant. Their maturity and wisdom sometimes caught me off guard. Now, I increasingly rely on them for advice, a push toward my own priorities, and my general well-being." Arifa echoed this sentiment, saying, "With time, she [my daughter] has become my guardian, taking care of every small detail, despite us living on different subcontinents." Dr. Mrinmayee Barua summed it up: "My daughter is my friend and my teacher as well."

Another recurring thread was the importance of trust and what parents perceived as open communication. Sherine shared, “My relationship with my 19-year-old daughter is built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Though I’m sure girls have a special capacity to hide what they don’t want to reveal, I try to maintain a friendship-like connection with her. Over time, I’ve learned to balance guidance with giving her space to grow, make decisions, and explore her own interests.”

Mothers also spoke candidly about the emotional complexities of adolescence and early adulthood. Prasanna reflected, “The most meaningful relationship I have developed in my lifetime [is the one with my daughter]. There were tough and rough patches, but I am certain those difficult moments brought out the best in both of us.” Nancy added, “Over time, we have come to appreciate each other’s strengths and have become better friends. We are much more considerate and better at refraining from criticism.”
Susan recalled, “It was like walking on eggshells at times. It may happen again, although I pray not. Right now, we talk several times a day.”

Some parents described their relationships as “tight yet often tense,” “volatile but full of love,” or “fraught during the teenage years but evolving with time.” Zafrin Chowdhury captured this complexity, saying, “From childhood dependence and admiration to adolescent rebellion to [a] young adult’s radical mindset that I, as a mother, still grapple to understand. Despite our differences, we’ve grown to be friends and philosophers to each other. We deeply appreciate each other, yet we can also be candid critics—if that makes sense. Surely, [it is] a very positive but somehow rocky relationship, based on love, respect, and protecting each other’s beliefs and convictions.”

For fathers, daughters often emerged as emotional touchstones and sources of transformation. One father said plainly, “She is very attached to me, and I am a superhero for her!” Sreenath noted, “They used to criticize me as well.” Another father shared, “She breaks my loneliness and makes me happy, knowing my sorrows.” Over time, many found themselves turning to their daughters for guidance: “Today, she is the only person whose ideas and opinions truly matter to me when it comes to important decisions and policies in my life.”

Some fathers described how their daughters’ independence pushed them to grow: “As they matured, I learned to respect their individuality and perspectives, including their approach to life and their steps toward achieving their goals.” Another said, “At first, it was typical middle-class parenting. But as I gained more understanding of gender dynamics, my approach became more democratic.”

For parents of younger daughters, the process of growth is still unfolding. One reflected, “It’s definitely a journey—learning patience and gentle parenting every day because this generation is much more expressive about their feelings.” Another noted, “All my children are under 10, so we’re still in the early stages, where my role is primarily about nurturing and care-taking.” Some spoke about evolving parenting styles: “Over time, I have learned to be more democratic as a parent and to understand her emotions before conflict or confrontation.” One parent admitted, “Earlier, I tried to control them—I was overprotective. But now, I am trying to change my behavior.”

For some, unique circumstances reshaped the parent-child bond in profound ways. Reena, whose 19-year-old daughter has autism and is non-verbal, described a deeply personal journey: “Because of this, my relationship with her is quite different from the typical mother-daughter bond. Over the years, I have been not only her mother but also her caregiver, nurse, advocate, and constant companion. This role has profoundly shaped me—teaching patience, unconditional love, and the importance of practicality in managing a demanding schedule. She has given me a completely different perspective on life. Through her, I’ve learned how to navigate highly stressful situations with resilience and grace. My relationship with her has changed me in every possible way—it has made me stronger, more empathetic, and deeply aware of what truly matters.”

Some daughters also became mirrors—reflecting their parents’ own strengths, flaws, and sometimes their spouses. Bindu admitted, “I find myself in her, but sometimes I feel admiration [more than recognition].” Margaretta observed, “My daughter has always been closer in personality to her father than to me. I have been in awe of her strong spirit and independent streak since she was born.”

This wide spectrum of experiences reveals more than just how relationships evolve—it shows how daughters provoke reflection, challenge assumptions, and drive change within the family. Through their presence, their questions, and their care, daughters become powerful agents of growth in their parents’ lives.

This question served as a window into how parents perceive their relationships with their daughters. It made them pause and reflect—not just on how their bonds have evolved but on the many ways their daughters have challenged, reshaped, and enriched their worldviews. This discussion sets the stage for deeper explorations: How do daughters shape their parents’ views on gender roles, personal growth, and the world at large? 

Written by Janaky S. and edited by Parvathy Ramachandran based on the responses @ThinkHer

Part 2: Daughters Reshaping the World (Part 2): Shifting Gender Beliefs